Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” (Exodus 4:10)
I have always resonated with Moses and the reservations he displayed at first when the Lord called him. Just like Moses, I had fears that I would not be eloquent enough to be an effective communicator of the gospel, though it had been an enduring desire in my heart to share the good news that was once shared with me. I had the fear of saying the wrong thing, and I had this nagging thought that every sermon I shared had to be revolutionary. If my sermon was anything less than extraordinary and people didn’t leave with a huge lightbulb moment, then I must have failed.
I was stuck in this space, and every door that the Lord opened for me to preach, I would shut. During the District Retreat this past year, the Spirit convicted me of this. He showed me a vision where I was sitting comfortably in a chair and the enemy just looked back at me smiling. I had the revelation that staying in my comfort zone was bringing the enemy delight, and it stung. He was delighted in the fact that I was wasting a gift that God has given me. I repented immediately, and I got up out of the chair.
I am happy to report that I have been set free from the fears and lies that were holding me in the chair, and I am actively using my God-given voice to share the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have never felt so in tune with the Spirit, and as I have surrendered to God’s plans, I’ve come to know in my heart the truth that it is not by my might or by my power, but it is by the Spirit (Zechariah 4:6). It was never about how eloquently I could speak, and when I internalized that, I finally got out of the way and opened myself to what God was trying to do through me.
If you have been struggling to step out in a call that feels out of your comfort zone, this is my challenge to you: Get up from the chair. Trust that the Spirit will strengthen you where you are weak. Be bold and ask God to empower you to do the things He is calling you to do. Repent in the ways you have been disobedient for the sake of comfort. Stop making your gifts about yourself because they were given to you to be used for the glory of God. Get up from the chair.
– Diane Wong, Youth Pastor at Pacific Community Church